Motivation. Easy to find, even harder to keep.

After my birthday I stayed motivated to continue on this new clean path… for a while… or rather a whopping two months.

I was laid off from my job of 9+ years in January. I can’t say I was sad to say goodbye though… I was on to the next big adventure and had planned a three week trip back East to help me refresh and reboot.

Being able to see and spend so much time with all of my old friends and their families was amazing and such a blast… but it also made me realize what I had been feeling for some time.

I thought I was doing OK. I thought I had found strength. Unfortunately, what I found was that I had done such a good job of ignoring what I was really feeling; the void of not having a little family of my own, that I allowed all of it to just silently and slowly eat away at me. I was letting my sadness, bitterness and yes, I’m embarrassed to say… even jealousy continue to define me.

And once again food became my escape, my solace… my achilles heel.