I read an article this morning that hit very close to home. The Today Show was discussing a recent post on https://medium.com by a woman titled, “What it’s like to be that fat person sitting next to you on the plane”… I’ve included the link at the bottom and encourage you to read it.
I’ve been that fat person sitting next to you on the plane before and everything she wrote about I could definitely and sadly relate to. My anxiety about flying had absolutely nothing to do with the mechanics of it (ya know flying in a tin can 30,000 feet in the air and all) and everything to do with the logistics of it.
Southwest became our airline of choice, not because of price but because they have the largest seat dimensions, if by only a smidgen above the rest. Not to mention their lift-able aisle arm rests for slightly more room getting in and out of your row (bet ya didn’t know about those- I learned about them from a fellow “customer of size” who saw me fumbling with mine after seeing him raise his).
After purchasing our Southwest tickets we would always make sure to get to the airport at least 2-3 hours early, and no not because of the long lines at check-in and security. Before Southwest switched to their assigned number boarding I had to make sure I was as close to first in line as possible so that I had my pick of seats. Then I paid $10 more (now $12.50 I believe) when they introduced their early bird check-in to hopefully guarantee me Group A boarding. And of course I would always check with the gate agent to see how full our flight was so we could finalize our game plan of how we were going to sit. If it was a full flight I would take the aisle seat and my husband would take the middle… but if we knew there would be at least one or two open seats we would take the first available open row, even if it meant sitting all the way in the back by the bathroom and I would take the aisle seat and he would take the window… our logic being who would want to sit between two fat people?
That logic usually worked and when it didn’t I made sure to sit with all of my extremities as close to my body as possible so as not to engage in any “spillage” or fit that caricature of a typical fat person, “…loud, obnoxious, elbowing people, taking up space, getting cheetos crumbs all over ourselves and you…”. Ps… I don’t even like cheetos!
Another reason for getting to the airport ridiculously early, no still not the long lines at check-in and security… I needed to make sure I had ample time to take care of my business because there was no way I was going to fit in that tiny closet they call a bathroom… so thank you but I’ll pass on my complimentary beverage :-P.
Oh and let’s also not forget that wonderful seat belt extender. I had learned how to non verbally let the flight attendant know that I needed one and most would hand me one very discreetly, but unfortunately there were those few that made it a whole big production with me and my extender as the stars.
That brings me to two flying experiences I will never forget.
When my husband and I started thinking about relocating to Arizona we planned a trip out west to visit family and explore our possible new home (pre weight loss journey). Prior to this particular trip I had flown numerous times, both by myself and with my husband as a fat person and never once had an issue. While we were checking in we noticed the woman helping us seemed hesitant about something. She then went to speak with who I believe was her supervisor and when she returned she advised me of their, “Customer of Size” policy and that I would need to purchase an additional ticket. As I choked back my tears of shock and embarrassment my husband tried to explain to them that I had literally just flown, on the same airline no less, not even a month ago and I was never told I needed to purchase an additional ticket. Unfortunately, that didn’t matter and I had to purchase an additional ticket for my flight to Arizona… but don’t worry, it came with one of those blue pre boarding passes so ha… I got my pick of a seat, sorry seats, afterall!
After I collected myself and my extra ticket was purchased my husband and I made our way down to the gate where we soon learned that our flight was overbooked. What started off as an embarrassing and awful experience quickly turned into one of our best flights ever. We got bumped… but not only did we get bumped, my extra seat got bumped too… which meant we received the full cost of our tickets plus an extra $300… for all THREE seats. We made over $900 in travel vouchers in a matter of minutes…and I wasn’t told I needed to purchase an extra seat when we checked in for our flight back to Baltimore… thank you very much and way to have a consistent “Customer of Size” policy!
Fast forward a few years to our trip to Vegas (still pre weight loss journey). My husband and I flew to Sin City without incident and even boarded the plane back home without incident… or so we thought.
I had already confirmed with the gate agent that it would be a full flight. As my husband and I boarded the plane I immediately spotted a thin woman sitting by herself in the third row with an open aisle and middle seat. I quickly rushed to claim them much to my husband’s dismay- he wanted to keep looking for an open row and give that woman a chance to possibly have her own row, but with a full flight I wasn’t taking any chances.
After settling in we started talking with our new neighbor and found out we had a lot in common. However, we were soon interrupted mid conversation by the gate agent who had boarded the plane and made a beeline to my seat.
She wanted to know, rather loudly, if anyone had ever explained the, “Customer of Size” policy to me. I was speechless… you mean to tell me I checkedy luggage, handed you my ticket, boarded the plane, got settled in my seat all without incident and now you choose to have the audacity to board the plane and ask me this? After telling her yes and her confirming with my husband and our new seat mate that they were comfortable and ok she exited the plane, at which time our new seat mate AND the woman across the aisle from me called over the flight attendant to express their anger over what had just transpired. I think they were even more disgusted than I was. It felt good to know that in that moment not everyone viewed me as, “that caricature of a typical fat person”. I was a person who had just been utterly and totally humiliated by a situation that should have taken place many steps ago in our departure process, if at all.
I guess my main point about needing to share the article I read this morning, along with my experiences is to emphasize the importance of adhering to that age old adage of just be kind, “for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”.
frombagelstobeets 