We tried another IUI at the end of December 2013… but it didn’t take. At this point, food had become my comfort. It seemed to fill the void I was feeling.

In January 2014, Dustin and I went to visit my Nanny. She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November and it had quickly spread. We knew what this trip was going to be. It was so hard to see a woman who was once so strong in mind and body become so forgetful and frail. She just wasn’t my Nanny anymore, but I’m glad I had a chance to say goodbye. It was a visit that I will always remember and am glad we took because it wasn’t even a month later that she was gone. I am grateful she is no longer in pain, but I miss her so much each and every day and want to talk to her or play cards with her just one more time.

I again turned to food to help me navigate through all the grief. I needed something to be good… I needed something to go right. So, not long after my Nanny passed away we decided to try another IUI. I really thought it would work this time… we had Nanny up there supporting us.

Unfortunately, this one didn’t take either. Why did it technically work the first time and not the next two times? Why was this so easy for everyone else? Food became the only answer I could find.